


Happier

by 1ReallyBoredWriter



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2019-01-23 04:19:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12498620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1ReallyBoredWriter/pseuds/1ReallyBoredWriter
Summary: Lance can't just stay and watch Keith move on. It's selfish, he knows, but he isn't strong enough to stay. Solitude doesn't hold anymore charms for Keith now, not since Lance. And especially not since their break-up but why can't he find someone who wants him back? What does it take to be happier?





	1. Chapter 1

-Lance-

  
Seeing it was a different kind of pain than he was expecting. In retrospect, he knew that this really shouldn’t have been a surprise. It had already been two months since that night. Two months of regret and self-hate. But it still hurt seeing him laughing, smiling, and in the arms of someone else. Pidge and Hunk noticed the change at the table almost immediately. It only took the geniuses one glance across the room to identify the issue. Their faces carried that same look, the one he hated so much. Pity, sadness, guilt, irritation, and accusation. Not that he didn’t deserve some of them, but still he had no desire to have a heart to heart tonight.  
  
“Lance-” Pidge began, but he cut them off with a smile. He knew that it wasn’t quite right, not big or bright enough to be convincing, but it was enough to stop her.  
  
“Nope! Nope, nope, nope. With a capital N! Not tonight Pidge! We are celebrating you! And your victorious promotion to Garrison Science Officer!” She seemed concerned but Lance didn’t let her sit on it long. He grabbed his glass and clinked it to her soda before downing the whole thing in one go. The burn of the alcohol was a pleasant distraction, hopefully the buzz would hit him soon.  
  
It didn’t take long for them to have start having fun, to forget about the more weighty matters in the room. Lance was pleasantly buzzed and everything was going great, until it happened. He was in the middle of getting another drink, when someone bumped into him. He turned around to apologize, when blue met gray. All the air left his lungs like he had gotten hit by an elephant. Keith seemed equally surprised, but his date wore an apologetic expression. He was taller than them both, broad shouldered and reached out towards Lance.  
  
“Oh, I am so sorry! You aren’t-” Lance cut him off before he could continue.  
  
“Nope. No trouble! Nothing! I’m fine! Sorry for disturbing your night!” As he spoke his voice took on a squeaky quality. His eyes widened with panic and a lump rose in his throat. Keith seemed to be struggling with his own reaction. The other man seemed to suddenly catch on to the tension. “Anyways! Gotta bounce! You know! Got work tomorrow and all that jazz!” Lance shoved himself from the bar. The other man seemed concerned and tried to stop him.  
  
“Hey, aren’t those your drinks?” He sounded concerned too. But one look at Keith let Lance know he had overstayed his welcome. He shook his head violently. And jerked away from the man. “Nah, I probably drank too much, I’ll head home now.” As soon as he pulled away the room spun slightly but all that mattered was putting space between him at the gray eyed boy who still caused his heart to seize with pain in his chest. He barely made it to their table before his vision was blurred and his breathing was labored. Pidge and Hunk were both alarmed, but he sent them a watery smile.  
  
“Hey guys, I’m not feeling it anymore tonight, Imma head home.” He dealt with their almost objections the way he dealt with pretty much everything lately, he dropped some cash on the table, turned around, and headed out the door. If there were any objections to his leaving, he didn’t hear them as he broke into a run in the clear air. He didn’t stop running until he was at the door of his apartment. He unlocked it with shaking hands and threw himself onto the couch. He curled up into a ball. It shouldn’t have been a surprise. They’d left on such bad terms. And he deserved it, but just seeing him there, with someone else. Someone who was nice, kind, gentle, and probably wouldn’t ever let Keith get hurt ever, let alone hurt him. The tears and choked sobs leaked from him before he knew it. And it was a long torturous night before the welcomed darkness claimed him.  
  
-Keith-  
  
The night had started so well. A good day at work, Shiro had made a killer lunch, and then a date. A nice date. With a cute guy, a nice guy. And it had been great. All the way until the universe decided to spit in his face again. Of all the places and times to see his ex for the first time in two months, it had to be on a first date, but not just any first date, the first date. Seeing him again was an experience. The first thing was the enormous hurt that flooded his chest. For a split second, the world stopped. Lance’s eyes twinkled with that same mirth and mischief that he seemed to exude all the time. Then, in an instant that light was extinguished and seemed hollow and almost broken. It had taken nearly everything in him to not drop his date and take the boy into his arms. Then, Lance saw Alex. The universe must have a special place filled with hate and vitriol just for him. Because Alex was such a nice guy, he started to apologize for bumping into him before Lance hastily excused himself. And that was the end of the good night. Lance looked bad. And that was saying something, he never looked bad, he’d kill someone if they had suggested that he looked less than 100% perfection. Keith wasn’t sure what he had expected when he saw Lance again, but it sure wasn’t supposed to be longing. Lance plagued his thoughts for the rest of the night. He was sure Alex wouldn’t say so, but he pretty much fell apart after that.  
  
And now he was on the couch in Shiro and Allura’s apartment staring up at the ceiling. They both seemed very concerned. Shiro finished putting the dishes away before dropping onto the couch opposite Keith. He traded a worried glance with Allura before he cleared his throat.  
  
“So, Keith, how was your date?” Keith continued staring. They traded glances again before they tried again.  
  
“You said you had a date tonight, didn’t you Keith?” Allura asked softly. Without changing positions, he sighed.  
  
“Yeah. I did.” The answer was gruff.  
  
“And?” She pushed. He sighed again before he answered struggling to keep his emotions from spilling out.  
  
“I saw Lance today.”  
  
“Oh.” Allura’s response was hushed and Shiro tensed. “And how did that go?” Keith let out a humorless laugh.  
  
“Just about as great as you’d expect. My heart felt like it was being ripped in half again, and I’m pretty sure that I was a terrible date who won’t be getting asked out again.” He turned and glanced at the two of them through barely restrained tears. “I thought I was ready, but I-I,” His voice broke and the tears came. Next thing he knew he was sitting upright and caught between a warm tight embrace from both sides. He fought against the wet on his cheeks and the aching in his chest as the two people at his sides pulled him closer.


	2. Chapter 2

One Month later

-Lance-

He shifted the backpack on his shoulder slightly, staring at the door

. “Are you totally sure you want to do this, kid?” A gruff voice caused him to turn. The short woman stared at him with concern. Lance huffed and shrugged. She glared at him a little longer before he shrank.

“I’m not going to lie. I’m terrified. But,” Lance stopped and swallowed before sending her a small smile. “I can’t stay here, Tia. I just can’t. I know it’s selfish, but I just can’t stay.” Her face softened. She drew closer to him and placed her hand on his cheek.

“Ay, mijo. Tu me quieres matar. Your family doesn’t know?” He nodded and she sighed again. Then, she pressed a small piece of metal into his hand. “Pues, niño cuidate. Por favor, cuidate.” She kissed him on the cheek and pulled away. “I will wait for you in the car.”He flashed her a smile of gratitude. He stared at the apartment door a moment longer before he followed her down the hall. He sent one last look backwards.

“I guess this is goodbye then.”

Three Months Later

-Keith-

Once again, Keith found himself on Shiro and Allura’s couch. However, this time neither of its owners were home. He grabbed a cushion and crushed it down on his face. There was a very large part of him that wanted to die. He didn’t feel shame often but this was one of those few exceptions. He and Alex had been getting along so well, and he could have sworn that he had gotten Lance out of his system for good. Signal bombshell. In the middle of his moping the front door opened up. He pulled the pillow from his face just in time to catch Allura walking in with several bags. She saw him on the couch and rolled her eyes. She dropped the bags to the ground and crossed her arms.

“Are you going to mope over there the whole day long or are you going to help me with the bags?” Her droll British accent washed over him filling him with a strange sense of comfort. He groaned before he slipped off the couch and picked up the bags. She smiled and motioned him into the kitchen.

“Help me put the food away and then we can talk.” Keith quietly put the groceries in their place while Allura hummed. Once all is put away, Allura brings out some coffee and drops some donuts onto the table.

“Alright. Now we can talk about whatever is troubling you.” She said happily and took a deep draught of the cup before her. Keith took a drink before answering. “What makes you so certain that something is wrong?” She snorted and pointed at the couch.

“When we bought that couch to replace the other one you broke,” Keith sent her a disgusted look. “We made sure it would be extra comfy, so that when you came over to mope you would have the extra cushion to comfort you until we could get here.” Keith sputtered in indignation, but otherwise remained silent. Allura just stared at him knowingly over her cup, just waiting. He gripped his cup tighter and glared at her.

“Fine. But just so you’re aware, I don’t always come here when I have a problem.” She snorted again. He glared again.

“I don’t! Just cause I am here and I might have a problem, doesn’t mean that is my moping couch.” She rolled her eyes but made an affirmative noise.

“Fine. Fine. Not moping, but ‘dealing’, then?” Keith nodded jerkily and she motioned for him to continuing.

“As long as you are aware.” She smiled. He sighed and hunched forward. “Allura, what’s wrong with me?” His voice was thick and he refused to look up.

“Keith,”

“No, seriously. What the hell is wrong with me? Why is that I only seem to want people that don’t really want me back?” A warm hand encased his, making him looking up and meeting soft blue eyes.

“Keith, there is nothing wrong with you. Absolutely nothing.” Her voice was strong and firm. His gaze was miserable.

“If there was nothing wrong with me Allura, why am I alone?” His voice was so small, she got up and held him close.

“Keith, not everyone gets it right on their first couple of tries. Don’t lose hope for that future.” She pulled him tight. Then, she pulled away to look him in the eyes.

“Keith, Shiro and I are so very proud of you. Putting yourself out there is beyond brave, especially after you’ve burned. But there is no shame in stopping and taking some time for you.” Her eyes shone with unspoken love.

“Allura, I’m just so tired of being alone.” He mumbled and put his head on her shoulder. She placed a soft kiss on his head.

“Keith, you are never alone. You have Shiro, me, and I know you have other friends that I’m fairly sure you’ve been neglecting.” At her words, his face heated up. She chuckled. “Ah, so you have been neglecting some friends of yours.” He sobered a little at the thought.

“Maybe. They were more Lance’s friends, but they’ve invited me out to couple of things since,” He let the sentence end. She studied him a moment.

“Well, if you feel like reaching out to them, maybe you should.” He nodded. “And I was serious Keith, don’t feel like you need to put yourself back out there until you are ready.” He snorted, before responding.

“Aren’t you going to, you know, ask me about what brought me here?” She took a long suffering breath.

“Keith you don’t have to say anything,”

“Alex said that he didn’t want to keep being my rebound.” Her eyes darkened in sadness. “He said he could tell that I was still caught up in someone, whoever it was that I was dating before him. And he didn’t want to build a relationship with someone who might never put him first. The way he would put me first.” She pulled him in tightly.

“It’s okay. Well, no it’s not okay currently, but it will be. Alex wasn't the one for you, so yours is still out there. Alex’s loss.” She let him shake with barely controlled emotion until he was spent. After a while, she pulled back. “Okay, Keith, help me make dinner. I am fairly sure that you are staying for dinner.” She kissed him on the head again as he wiped his face. She pulled away and began to look through the fridge. She rustled around before she shot him an irritated glance.

“Are you helping or not?” He sent her a small smile.

“Thanks, Allura.”


	3. Chapter 3

One Week Later

-Keith-

He shifted nervously on the balls of his feet, staring at the apartment door before him.  Shiro huffed disapprovingly beside him and Keith flinched.

“I dunno Shiro, I changed my mind!  I don’t wanna do this!”  The older man reached out and grabbed him by the arm.

“Oh no you don’t Keith.  I love you but you’ve been driving Allura crazy with all the flip flopping you’ve done in the last week.  You came here to ask some questions.  Just ask them, get your answers, and we’ll be on our merry way.”  Keith stared at him in mute panic, causing another sigh from Shiro.  He released him and fondly ruffled his hair.  “Go on.  Knock on that door.  I’ll be here the whole time.”  He spoke gently and Keith very slowly and mechanically knocked on the door. 

A frenzy of wild thoughts fluttered through his mind as the door opened.  The sight of pretty brunette with green eyes stabbed the boy the chest.  In the back corner of his mind he wondered if this is what Lance had felt when he saw him with Alex.  He was so overwhelmed with the rumble of painful emotions that he missed her speak.  Shiro shook him gently, pulling him from his state.  Keith noticed that he was shaking and sent a pleading glance at Shiro.  His eyes shone with sympathy but he spoke for them.

“Hi.  My name is Takeshi and this is my brother Keith.  Is Lance home?” The girl gave them studying glances for a moment before answering.

“Hi, Takeshi and Keith, sorry but there’s no Lance here.  Just little ole me.”  She said it carefully, still positioning the door between her and the boys.  Her answer made Keith’s head to flick up.

“Wait, what do you mean?  This is Lance’s apartment.”  Her eyes grew less suspicious, as though she understood something was happening.

“I am genuinely sorry.  But seriously, I just moved in here like three weeks ago.  The landlady had been looking for a renter for like months, and I was lucky enough to snatch it up.  But if there was a Lance who lived here, he’s not here anymore.  Sorry.”

Keith didn’t hear the pleasantries that Shiro and the girl exchanged.  All that played in his mind was that Lance was gone.  Worry and grief flooded him.  Where did he go?  Why did he leave? Was he ok? The thoughts washed over him like a tide and it took Shiro pulling him into a hug to break free.

“Keith,”

“Shiro, we need to find him.”  Keith’s voice was hoarse with emotions and he hated it.  He hated that Lance was able to rile him up like this even when he wasn’t here to do it.

“I know.  But I don’t know what else to do.”  Keith sighed and pulled away.

“Yeah, but I do.”

 

It was a short drive to the next apartment complex.  They climbed the three flights of steps.  And Keith swallowed hard before he knocked on the door.  There was some bickering and something fell before the door was yanked open.  Pidge stood before them growling ferociously.

“This better be impor- ” She froze in the door staring at the awkward boy before her.  Keith stood frozen waiting for her to react, then he yelped as she threw herself at him wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.  “You absolute idiot.  You’ve been avoiding our calls and hiding from us.  Do you know how worried Hunk has been these last months?!  He’s been baking non-stop.”  She changed from yelling to whispering and hugged him all the tighter.  While Keith was struggling with the woman currently strangling him, Hunk appeared in the doorway.  His brown eyes lit up at seeing him.

“Keith!  Buddy!  What ya doing around here?”  He spoke warmly as he reached up and pulled the slight woman off of him, and giving him a moment to lean against the wall and breathe.  Keith shot him a grateful glance.

“Sorry.  I didn’t mean to worry you guys, I just needed to get my head back on my shoulders.”  Hunk nodded sagely and then set Pidge on her feet.

“Yeah, love can do that sometimes.”  A lump suddenly appeared in his throat and he found he could only nod.  Shiro stepped up at that moment. 

“Hi, I’m Takeshi Shirogane, Keith’s older brother.”  They both smiled at him and shook his hand.

“Katie Holt, but everyone calls me Pidge.”

“Holt? You wouldn’t happen to be related to Matt Holt would you?”  Shiro chimed in suddenly.  She sent him a studying glance but nodded.

“Yep. That’s my brother alright.”  Shiro seemed to study her, but neither continued.

“You can call me Hunk.  But I think we should continue whatever this is going to be inside, no?”  The large man interjected and then waved them in.  Keith swallowed past the lump in his throat and followed Shiro in.

It took a few minutes of cleaning to clear up some space in the living room to accommodate the new arrivals.  But as soon as he was seated in front of them both silence descended upon them.  The silence grew tenser until Pidge started laughing.  Hunk seemed unamused and sent them apologetic glances.  Everyone waited until Pidge got her chuckles under control.  She sighed as she wiped tears from her eyes.

“Six months apart and you’re just as awkward as ever Keith.”  Her words blew away all the tension from his body.  Hunk sent him an answering grin. “Seriously though, just take a breath and start talking, preferably about why you showed up at our doorstep just now.”  Keith did as she asked.

“We-we went to go visit, we went to visit Lance.”  He stopped to gather more courage.

“And you found an empty apartment.”  Hunk supplied.  His face was sympathetic.

“Yeah, I wanted to talk to him.  To figure out what happened between us.  I wanted closure.  But there was a girl there, and she said that she moved in and Lance wasn’t there.” He trailed off.

“And so you came to us.”  Pidge’s voice was softer than he had ever heard it.  He looked up in time to catch the two of them share a glance. 

“Yes.  Because, I feel like I need to know what happened between us.  It was the happiest I’d ever been with someone and then it all just died.”  His words died as he watched the two scientists before him communicate silently with each other.  Pidge’s eyes seemed to be pleading for something, while Hunk's were curiously guarded.  It was a few more seconds of this before Hunk threw his arms up with a sigh that sounded suspiciously like defeat.  Pidge turned back to the two befuddled brothers and rubbed her chin sagely.

“Well, we actually do have the answers to several of your questions, we are just wondering about the logistics of it all.”  Shiro answered before Keith could.

“What do you mean?”  His voice and eyes were hard.  Pidge stared right back at him almost unfazed.

“It’s simple really.  You see Keith was an ass.  He ignored us for six whole months and tried to live life without us, only coming back to us when he needed something.”  Keith shrank in his seat.  But Pidge didn’t stop. “But lucky for you, Lance was also an ass.  He left without saying goodbye or telling us he was leaving.  He just left us this.”  She got up and snatched and envelope off the table.  Hunk seemed uncomfortable.  She held the envelope out for him to grab but moved it out of reach when he made a move for it.

“Pidge,”

“Keith this has conditions.  If you take this from us, there are three conditions that I will impose on you.  One, you have to think of us as your friends too.  Not Lance’s friends who kind of like you, but your own friends with whom you share a special bond.”  She waited until he nodded. “Second, you will answer our damn calls and texts.  Only acceptable excuses are family and medical emergencies, or you are in an important meeting,”

“Or driving.” Hunk interjected from behind.

“Thanks Hunk. Or driving.”  Keith nodded to that as well. “And finally, you, Hunk, and myself will do a weekly dinner, lunch, or breakfast of your choosing but that fits within our schedules.  Got it?”  Keith couldn’t speak.  The lump in his throat only got bigger with each word she spoke.  Hunk was suddenly at her side with a big smile.

“Keith, you are our friend.  You may have forgotten that in the brief madness that is Lance, but I hope you’ll remember it from now on.”  He took the envelope from Pidge’s grip and laid it Keith’s lap.  Keith stared at it a moment before he pushed the envelope to his brother and shot to his feet to pull his friends into a tight hug.  Hunk laughed and Pidge made loud choking sounds, but they returned the embrace all the same.


	4. Chapter 4

The envelope sat on the table and was studiously avoided for several days.  Even though it was being ignored, Keith didn’t let anyone move it from its place at the table.  They had even eaten around it.  And now Keith could see it was starting to rub Allura the wrong way, her impatience was starting to show in visible ways.  Finally, as he was laying down on the couch staring at the ceiling when it all came to a head.  Allura’s head suddenly blocked his view.

“I can’t do this.  Open the damn letter or I will.”  She growled.  Her normally happy face was scrunched up in irritation.

“Allura..”

“Don’t you ‘Allura’ me.  Stop being a damned coward and go open the letter.”  Shiro looked up from the couch.  But he didn’t interfere, the filthy traitor.  Allura seemed to calm down a little, then a small sadistic smile creeped along her face.  “I guess since you aren’t going to read it, I’ll just throw it away.”  She moved toward the table but Keith leapt over the couch and launched himself at the table.  He managed to snag the envelope before Allura, and danced to the other side of the table.  She placed her hands on the table, her eyes fierce.

“Open it now, Keith, or by the love of God, I will take it and burn it.”  He backed up into the wall, and with shaky hands pulled the letter from its confines.  It was a few pages of lined paper that had Lance’s terrible scribbles on it.  He let out a soft sigh before sinking into the chair in front of him.  A soft hand landed on his shoulder, and he looked up through blurry eyes at Shiro.

“I can read it aloud for you, if you want.”  His voice was soft and warm, and Keith handed him the letter.  Shiro opened the letter before sighing.  “His writing is terrible.  Okay.  Here goes.”

_Pidge or Hunk, or I guess the both of you guys,_

_So, as you probably realized, I took the cowards way out.  Not the literal cowards way out, I totally didn’t kill myself, just an expression, whatever!  This is so not what I wanted to say!_

_Anyways, I’m not in town right now.  Actually, I have no idea just where I’m gonna be when you read this.  I just realized a few weeks ago, that I can’t be here.  I just can’t.  I thought I was okay with life moving on, I thought I could take him moving on.  But I can’t watch it ok?  That night at the bar was, well it sucked, but it put things in perspective ok?  I realized that I don’t think that it is gonna be possible for me to get over Keith, or maybe forgive myself, if I stay here.  It was dangerous for me there.  It hurt so much when I saw him there with that other guy.  It killed me, but at the same time, I almost stayed there, just to watch him.  It took me days to get out of that funk.  And I realized that it was probably gonna be like this every time I see him.  And I know I’m not strong enough.  Just thinking about him is killing me right now.  It’s literally driving me insane.  So, I just need to go, I don’t know where yet, or for how long._

_Maybe I’ll start in Cuba, go visit my Abuelos.  I’m fairly sure everything’ll be fine.  Anyway, I know that the two of you are probably freaking out about cost ‘n stuff.  But it’s fine.  I sold all the stuff in the apartment, except for a couple things that my Tia is keeping for me.  I had almost $15,000 saved up before the break up.  So I have money.  Plus I can just do odd jobs wherever I go.  It’ll be fine._

_So I know that you’re both pretty mad right now, but if you guys ever wanna get in touch.  I will be answering emails at this address,_ [ _thetravelingjerk@hotmail.com_ ](mailto:thetravelingjerk@hotmail.com) _. Also, if you are ever really curious about what I’m up to without wanting to actually talk with me, I would suggest you look up The Traveling Jerk._

_Okay, that’s all I gotta say.  Hopefully we’ll talk soon._

_Love ya,_

_Lance_

Keith’s head spun.  Lance felt bad.  That made sense, but bad enough that he needed to run away?  Less sense.  He shook his head hoping to displace all the hovering thoughts in it.

“Is that it?  There’s nothing else?” Shiro shook his head. 

“Nothing else.”  He sighed and put the letter back down in front of him.  “So what are you going to do?”  Keith sighed.

“I can’t do anything else, can I?”  Keith murmured as he pulled out his phone.  “I’m not sure I want to talk with him.  But, I do want to know if he’s, y’know, ok.” 

He opened the screen.  Then slowly opened up google.  The words ‘The Traveling Jerk’ appeared on it, but his finger hovered above the enter button.  Before he summoned the courage to do so, he heard an annoyed huff and Allura jabbed his screen.

“Taking too damn long, Keith.”

He didn’t have time to be irritated with her, as the first search item popped up as a travel blog.  He held his breath and touched the item.  The screen changed to a very basic blog set up, but what caught his eye was a stunning picture of a beach sunset.  It was filled with vibrant and lively reds, blues, and pinks.  The sight nearly took his breath away.  Then the caption that accompanied it put a lump in his throat.

_I once wished to share this sight with someone who once loved me._

He scrolled down there were lots of pictures of places, but finally managed to find the main menu.  He opened the introduction window, and read the whole thing.

_Hi.  I’m not really sure if anyone is even interested in my kind of a travel blog.  I intend to move all over the globe, to see just  what is out there, and maybe find a bit of myself along the way.  You can call me blue._ (Keith smiled softly, of course he’d be making stupid puns). _Omg, if any of my friends read that, they’d get a kick out of it.  Anyhoo, I’ll respond to blue or the Traveling Jerk, which in all reality is what I am._

_I started travelling, well, due to a bad break-up.  Now before anyone starts consoling me, I am 100% totally at fault.  I was an asshole.  I said and did things that honestly, I don’t think I can ever take back really, no matter how much I want to.  Anyways, I’m the idiot ex now.  It had been a good two months since we had broken up, we hadn’t spoken to each other or seen each other that whole time, when I saw them, let’s call ‘em Red, out and about with someone new.  It was like a kick to the stomach, man.  I mean, I knew in my head that one day he’d move on with someone new, but I just never really thought I’d see it.  And when I did, it hurt more than anything I’d ever experienced.  I realized that Red was moving on with their life, searching for love with someone worthy of being at his side.  And I knew that I wasn’t strong enough to stay there and watch it all go down.  So I ran away.  I ran without telling anyone, except a couple of relatives to help me plan out my trip._

_Now a couple of warnings here, I don’t recommend doing what I am doing, unless you happen to be fluent in at least a few languages.  Luckily, I am fluent in six languages, and like less than stellar in a couple more.  So if you are thinking of traveling the world, you need to prep before committing.  Anyways, now you know.  I’m a Jerk on the run from his life and his feelings.  But I am sure to snap a few amazing shots along the way._

It ended with a picture of a plane ticket and a medallion of some kind.  This didn’t do much to help clear Keith’s head.  But at least it seemed that Lance was in an alright mental state.  No matter what happened between them, He couldn’t quite bring himself to hate the other boy.

“So, Keith?”  Shiro seemed concerned and Keith shook his head.

“It seems that he is travelling the world.”

“Oh.  Wow.”

“Maybe you guys should check it out.”  Keith murmured before rising from his chair.  “I’m going to head home.  I have some reading to catch up on.”


	5. Chapter 5

-Lance-

There was only one thought rolling through Lance’s mind as he stared out at the unearthly beauty before him.  The sun was setting into the ocean setting off all sorts of warm beautiful pastels through the sky, but the ocean seemed to turn an even more vibrant blue in response.  It was enchanting.  He sat at the cliff’s edge to just soak it in some more.

“So, how are you enjoying the Phillipines?”  A young woman with a soft smile and brown eyes and long brown hair dropped next to him.  He sent her a similar smile.

“It is everything you said it’d be.”  She puffed up her cheeks at his words.

“Hmm.. You’re talking so obviously, I haven’t quite done my job yet.”  He rolled his eyes at her.  She turned to watch the sun sink even farther down in the water.  “You’re still thinking about him, huh?” 

“Perdon, Chole.  No te quise depresionar.”  He murmured and she punched him in the arm.

“Mira.  Yo vine voluntariamente a causa de tu locura.  It’s a little too late to be apologizing.”  She let him lean on her shoulder and murmured soft things to him, even when the sun vanished from view.

 

-Keith-

He sat and tapped the table he was seated at awkwardly.  Fifteen minutes.  That’s how late those two supposed geniuses were.  He was considering leaving when a loud shout greeted him from the doorway of the restaurant.

“Keith!”  Pidge waved happily and near sprinted to the table.  Hunk was following her shortly but he sent him a warm smile.  “I am not gonna lie, I almost thought you weren’t gonna show.”  She chuckled as she took her seat.  Keith sent her a mild look of disgust.  She threw her hands up in resignation but her grin was unrepentant. 

“You’ll have to forgive us Keith, it was actually all my fault.  I couldn’t find the apartment keys.  We were late looking for em.”  Pidge pushed her glasses up looking mischievous.

“And you’ll never guess where we found them.”  Hunk sputtered in indignation while Keith laughed.  This was nice.  It was better than he had imagined.  They ordered food and the atmosphere between them was as nice as he had ever remembered it being.  They told him about their weeks, their struggles, and their frustrations, they even got him to talk about work, and Allura and Shiro.  Everything was going great until Pidge finished her lemonade and looked Keith in the eye.

“So did you read it?”  When Keith remained silent, she rolled her eyes and spoke again.  “Come on Keith, you already know I won’t let it go.”  He groaned in misery. 

“Can’t we talk about literally anything else? Please?”  She raised one of her eyebrows at him and he sighed.

“Yes.  I read it.”

“And?”

“And I started reading the blog. Happy?”  He snarked at her.  She sat back clearly satisfied with his answers.  Hunk sat a moment twiddling with his spoon before speaking.

“Keith, I hope you don’t mind, but just what are planning to do? You know with Lance.”  Keith gave him a confused frown.  Hunk put the spoon down and concentrated for a moment before he rephrased.  “So what exactly is your endgame here?  Why are you looking for Lance?”  Keith snorted.

“Easy. For closure.  I need to know what went wrong between us.”  Pidge sat up at that and leaned on one of her arms.

“Keith.  Just how many of the entries have you read?”  Keith looked back at his plate.  “Keith.”

“Just a couple.  I read the Fiji one, the four New Zealand ones, and two of the Australia ones.  I stopped there.”  Hunk and Pidge traded another one of those glances.  “What?”  He bit out at them.

“Why did you stop there?”  Keith felt heat grow on his cheeks but pushed through.

“I didn’t want to know about his date.”  He impressed even himself with how neutral his voice was.  “My plan is just to skip that one and read on from there.”  Silence descended on the table.  This was the awkwardness he feared would rear it’s head.  Pidge cleared her throat.

“I dunno if this’ll help you, but the date was a complete disaster.  She got stung by a scorpion and had to get taken to a hospital by medical chopper.  He visited her once in the hospital before he left Australia.  There are a few pics of the hospital.”  Though he didn’t want to admit it, for some reason that did comfort him.  The tension slowly melted away, and they steered clear of Lance and his gallivanting across the world.  By the end, Keith was happy and light and looking forward to their next lunch.  When they separated at the door, it was with genuine sadness that he said goodbye. 

It didn’t take him long to be back at home, in his own apartment.  It wasn’t bare but spartan, with little evidence of being lived in.  Keith felt little reason for it to be more than a place for him to sleep and eat.  He ended up laying down on his couch, phone in hand.  He opened up the browser, and Lance’s blog was there with the mocking title.  _A date in Perth?_   It was totally irrational for him to be like this over something so foolish.  He skipped it anyways.  He opened the next entry, _Final Thoughts on Australia._  

There were an array of gorgeous photos that took Keith’s breath away.  He stared for a long time at the gorgeous hills, rivers, dunes, sunsets, and other things that Lance had managed to capture.  The last words on the page.  _Everything I thought it’d be, but not quite what I had hoped._   The same words that he had used to say goodbye to Fiji and New Zealand.  Everything that he’d thought, but not what he’d hoped.  He ended up reading more posts.  Lance traveled from Australia to Indonesia, then on into Singapore.  He closed the phone after reading the words once more.  Everything I thought, but not what I’d hoped.  There was a part of Keith that wondered just what Lance was looking for.  But as he thought about it more, his mind turned back to that intro Lance wrote.  Keith had never been able to quite understand what happened, what changed between them.  It happened so suddenly, the change so violent between them, Lance hadn’t even seemed to be the same person that day.  His chest prickled in response to that thought.  Those were things that he didn’t know if he wanted to face yet.  He opened the phone again.  But this time he noticed something he hadn’t before.  A comments section.  He scrolled through them.  He was surprised to see there were quite a few.  And many of them were asking the same question he had.  What was Lance looking for?

His thumb hovered above the comment button before he pushed it.  When the box opened up, it asked him to submit an email address for response purposes.  He thought for a moment, before opening up another browser and making a brand new email address: [leftwaiting@outlook.com](mailto:leftwaiting@outlook.com).  Then, he stared at the comment box unsure of how to proceed, but knowing that he wanted to say something.  Eventually, he typed out a question.

**_Do you really regret your break up?_ **

He hit send before he could second guess himself.  Then he closed the screen.  His face burned and his body tingled with anticipation.  He knew that he shouldn’t expect much but the idea of getting answers after so long was more than enough to put a smile on his face.  He put his arm over his eyes and waited.

-Lance-

Chole and he decided to stay in the hotel that day.  The internet was tricky even at the best of times.  And sometimes Lance needed the whole day to get everything up online.  So as he was waiting for his latest post to upload he checked his notifications.  They were mostly comment or shares.  He largely ignored those.  Most of the time they were questions that he didn’t care to answer.  But one comment really caught his attention.  From leftwaiting, **_Do you really regret your break up?_**   His hands froze over the keyboard.  This question stabbed him in the heart, soft gray eyes appeared at the question.  For some reason he felt like he needed to answer this one.  He pulled up the response screen.

_More than I could ever describe._

He hit reply and expected to go back to waiting.  Instead, he received a notification that the other person had responded.  He opened it up and smiled.

**_Do you wish you could go back?_ **

_Every damn day._

**_Do you think that Red knows?_**  Lance sat back at that.  A sinking feeling settled in his gut.

_I don’t know if I want him to._

**_Why?_**  Lance almost snorted.  He could hear Keith saying the exact same thing.

_Because I’m pretty sure that I don’t deserve Red.  And I’m fairly sure that Red will move on with his life._

**_Don’t you think Red deserves to know all of this?_**   Lance swallowed hard at that.  His breathing was getting harder and there was a lump in his throat.

_I think I’ve wrecked enough of his life and wasted enough of his time to warrant silence.  Red is an amazing person.  An absolute one in a million, whoever is the lucky soul that gets to have him is gonna have the sweetest life.  But I already ruined my chance.  I said things that I wish I could take back, and I did things I am not proud of.  I am under no illusions that Red would want me back.  Now, I just need to figure out how to live a future life without him._

The words were there.  There were gashes of truth in his heart and soul.  But now they were out there.  It was strangely freeing, confessing all of this to an online stranger.  Several minutes went by without a response.  Lance sighed past the lingering sadness at the curt end of the conversation, but he closed the laptop when it finished.  He sighed and looked over at the bored female on her phone.

“Yo, Chole.  Vamanos.  He pensado demasiado hoy.”  She chuckled but stretched.

“Pensar es un pasatiempo que nunca te trata bien.”  She laughed at his glare.   “Vamanos, pues.  A beber y olvidar! Vamos!”  She took his hand and dragged him from the room.


	6. Chapter 6

-Keith-

He didn’t know what to say to that, even two days later.  Lance’s words just kept churning through his thoughts.  The first lines had filled him with such sweet warmth, he’d forgotten that he could feel that way.  While the following lines, echoed with some great despair.  The last line haunted him.  Learn to live without him.  Even after all this rumination, he sat completely lost.  There was a part of him that was satisfied that Lance recognized his mistake, but there was a far larger, far louder, far more dominant part that wanted to wrap the boy up in a tight embrace and never let him go.  And that is what he supposes is what caused him to ignore it, before opening up his brand new email and sending Lance a small message.

He sighed softly before he closed the browser and checked the time.  10 P.M.  Plenty of time relax and unwind before finishing up the last of his reports.

-Lance-

“Oy, despiertate!”  A shrill voice shattered the soft delicious rest like a wrecking ball.  Suddenly, Lance was desperately aware of every sound, and the sharp stabbing ache that rolled about his head.  He groaned and tried to curl tighter in on himself. 

“Eh?  Hijo de mierda!”  He barely registered the voice before his sheets were cruelly ripped from him.  “Wake the hell up!  There’s breakfast downstairs, and Dios sabe that you will need some food in you.”  Lance merely shifted on the bed trying to get away from the powerful booming voice aggravating his splitting headache.

“How can you be so chipper?  You drank like four or five times more than me!”  He groaned weakly. He finally managed to crack his eyes open to glare at the woman in front of him.

“That’s cuz I can actually hold my liquor, your ancestors should be ashamed at what a damned lightweight you are.”  Her tone was playful but it didn’t soften his glare one bit.

“I’m not moving.  If I move, I might die.”  She laughed at him, but didn’t press the issue.

“Fine, I’ll see if I can get some food for you then, lloron.”  She chuckled as she strode confidently to the door.  Lance flipped her off once more as she slammed it shut, before he collapsed back onto the bed.  However, sleep eluded him now.   Too aware of his discomforts to chase the sweet relief of slumber, and as he was about to curse her again, he noticed a large glass of water next to him.  He took his time to sit up slowly, fighting nausea and headaches, before downing the water and pills in one go.  He could feel the cool refreshing liquid seeping through him, helping to clear and settle him for the moment.  When he felt stable enough, he stood and stretched feeling his joints crack back into place.  Most of last night and the day before had been one drunken blur, but a relatively safe one, he did have Chole watching him after all.  He ended up back on the bed, grabbing his phone to check on the world, when he saw the notification.  New email from leftwaiting.  His eyes widened in surprise and his lips settled into a small smirk before he opened it up.

**_So, what is your favorite part of traveling?_ **

The smirk stretched into a smile.  He hit reply and began to type.

-Keith-

The buzzing of his phone shocked him awake.  He sat up and wiped at his bleary eyes, trying to brush away the confusion he felt.  He was in his apartment, on his couch, and his phone was lit up, stating he had a new email.  He picked it up and unlocked it.  His fingers froze when he saw it was from Lance.  He checked the time.  11:48 P.M.  He must’ve fallen asleep.  He sighed before opening it up.

_And here I thought that I might’ve scared you away.  You know the whole oversharing business and all._

_I guess, I like seeing new places and new things.  It’s like every time I think that the world can’t possibly get more beautiful, I find something else to take my breath away.  I think that might be my favorite part.  Meeting people and making friends on the way is just like a side perk._

_So, since I have you, Mystery Person.  What’s with the interesting/weird username?  I sense a story behind that.  And, really though, thanks._

Keith snorted but read it again.  His heart eased a little, he seemed less broken this time.  And he began his response.

**_How could you have possibly scared me away when I was the one asking questions?  I’m just surprised you answered to be honest. I never expected you to answer some weirdo internet stranger’s questions about your love life._ **

**_That actually sounds amazing.  I’ve kind of always wanted to travel the world, but I’m kinda locked down.  Work and family responsibilities and all.  It’s really cool that your sharing your journey for the rest of us to see._ **

**_First, my username is not weird, you are.  Second, yes there is a story.  And it’s kinda like yours.  I also just recently had an intense break up with my significant other.  And I’ve been wondering since, what I did to make them walk away like that.  So, I guess that’s kinda why I’m so invested, you know?_ **

**_Sent 11:57 P.M._ **

****

_Hahaha, FIESTY!  I love it.  Yeah, I dunno.  Like normally I don’t, but yours just kinda called out to me.  Maybe I could feel the intensity behind your question._

_I think everyone should travel!  It’s so important!  There is so much out there in the world!  Like no one can really appreciate their own culture, country, and traditions until they’ve experienced a couple others!  If you can get away you should totally do it!_

_First off, I take it back, you are not feisty, your rude!_

_Second, yikers man.  I’m so sorry.  Like I know you must have gotten that a lot already, but like, for reals, I am sorry that you had to go through that.  But let me tell you, there’s usually a good albeit painful reason for why break-ups happen.  Sometimes, it’s just outta your control, y’know?  I hope you’re finding your way forward with it though, sounds like you  might even be better off without them._

_Received 12:20 A.M._

**_Nope, too late.  You already said I’m feisty.  And hello, rude.  I am not rude.  If anything I am honest.  If you can’t take that, then that sounds like a personal problem._ **

**_Maybe one day, it’s hard to pull away from my family right now.  I help with the family business, and well, my dad really relies on me and my brother to help him out.  But one day, I’ll travel all over.  I really want to just see what’s out there.  I never really thought about dealing with other people, it was mostly like sightseeing or backpacking that I wanted._ **

**_If there was a good reason for it happening, I have yet to hear it.  I haven’t seen or spoken to that person in a long while, and it took me a long time to pick myself back up.    But I understand if you don’t want to keep discussing this._ **

**_Sent 12:32 A.M._ **

_People are complex creatures you know.  You can be both feisty and rude.  It’s totally possible.  And there is a fine, fine line between an honest man and a savage.  I hope we can discover which one you truly are._

_Yeah, I get that.  I really lucked out with my family.  They’re super supportive and way accepting.  Like when I showed up at home with some suitcases they just kinda brought me in and let me figure things out.  They even helped out with some of the costs.  My granparents weren’t super thrilled though.  My grandma chewed me out for like an hour before she made me help her cook.  But I think you should totally keep it on the list of things you need to do before you kick the bucket._

_I can’t speak for your significant other, but for me at least, there was a reason.  It was kinda like a painful realization for me, a moment of gut wrenching clarity, but I just realized in that moment, I wouldn’t be able to keep Red happy, not for the long run.  So, I did what I thought was best to end it._

_Received 1:58 A.M._


	7. Chapter 7

-Keith-

            It was a strangely easy pattern to fall back into, having Lance back in his life.  Even if it was just through these anonymous emails.  They would trade emails through the day, though after the bombshell email, Keith studiously avoided talking about break ups.  Lance seemed to understand, or at least didn’t wish to continue his train of thought.  They talked about travel, country sides, about future plans and dreams.  And with each email, Keith would close his eyes and think about how much this boy had changed.  It only lasted a week before it was interrupted.  Keith was seated on his couch crafting a response to Lance’s last email, when he heard the lock on his door click.  He shot to his feet immediately.  He grabbed a baseball bat from the corner and approached the hallway door, where he heard some whispering.  He prepared to swing when the light flicked on suddenly, blinding him.  And he was greeted with a pair of bloodcurdling screams.  

            “WHAT THE HELL KEITH!”  As soon as he was able to see again, he started laughing, so hard he leaned against the wall.  Pidge had somehow made her way onto Hunk’s shoulders, while he tried to keep her from falling, they stood in the middle of a mess of snacks and treats strewn about the floor.  Pidge seemed to relax a bit but growled again.  “SERIOUSLY!  What the hell were you trying to kill us?”  Keith responded when he managed to get his breathing under control.

            “Sorry, sorry! How did you two open the door?”  This time they both managed to look at little sheepish.

            “Allura, may have given us the key and told us you’ve been hiding out in your apartment.”  Hunk’s scratched his head nervously, before keith sighed softly.  He moved to them and helped Pidge down.

            “Well, you’re here, and you’ve made a mess.  Let’s clean it up no?”  It took a few minutes before they had it all cleared away and Hunk was in the kitchen working while Pidge and Keith sat at the table.  Pidge seemed to be bouncing with nervous tension.  Finally, she seemed to boil over.

            “Spill, Keith.”  He blinked at her.

            “What?”

            “Keith, we all saw the damn comment.  It was a public forum.  And the fact that neither of you have gone back to it, suggests to me that you are now privately hashing it over.”  Keith felt his face flushing.  “OK.  So that is happening.  But the real question, Keith, is does he know who you are?”  Keith let the silence reign as an answer.  Pidge sighed.  Then there was a clink as three plates were placed on the table.  The mouthwatering aroma of the home cooked meal filled the air.

            “Keith, I kinda get what you’re doing.  But I gotta say I don’t think that it’s all too healthy.”  Hunk said as he dropped into a chair next to them.  “I mean, what exactly do want out of all of this?  What are you going to do when you figure it out?  You’ve engaged him anonymously, so he literally has no idea he’s even talking to you, and then what happens if you find out what he was thinking when it all went down?  What are you going to do?  It just all seems like there’s so much to think about.” He picked up a spoon and began eating.  Pidge followed his example, giving the boy some time to think quietly.  Once they had just about finished their plates, Keith spoke.

            “We’ve been emailing.  It’s been,” he stopped, emotions suddenly bubbling up fiercely.  Hunk reached over and gripped his shoulder. “It was like stepping back into it, y’know?  Like it never happened.  It was like having him back.”  He took a deep breath.

            “That can’t have been easy for you.”  Pidge’s eyes were soft and warm.

            “No.  But, I have to know, guys.  I need to know what happened.  It haunts me, we were good and then just suddenly we weren’t and then,”  His voice broke and he felt the tears run.  There was the sound of rubber against tile before two sets of arms gripped him tightly.  “Guys,”

            “Shut it mullet.  Shut up and let us hug you.”  Pidge grumbled.

            “You’ve got to know that we literally only want the best for the two of you.”  Hunk murmured.

            “Plus, the fact the Lance ran means we literally get to support you wholeheartedly.”  Keith gave a weak, wet chuckle at that.  They held him until the tears ran dry.  “Alright mullet, what’s the plan.” 

 

            -Lance-

            He sighed as he put the phone down.  It had been three hours since the last email.  He had been looking forward to a response but it looked like he’d have to wait for tomorrow.  Chole opened the door of the hotel and sauntered in.

            “So, can we go now or do you still have to chat with your mystery lover?”  Lance groaned but allowed her to pull him up.  “Come on, its like our first day in Tokyo!  Lets go explore!”  He grinned as she pulled him through the door. 

            They spent hours wandering the streets in and out of shops, marveling at the wares and culture around them.  And finally when Lance’s stomach erupted into an angry gurgle, they settled into a cozy ramen shop.  They were waiting for their food when his phone buzzed and lit up on the table.  It was in his hands and opened before he heard chuckles.  He looked up from the phone to see Chole’s face twisted into a soft frown.

            “Chole?”

            “You’re really sprung on this person.  Do you even know who they are?”  Lance sighed and set the phone down.

            “It’s complicated, Chole.”

            “So, uncomplicate it for me.”  Lance sighed in response and ran a nervous hand through his hair.

            “What do you want me to say, Chole?  I’m not stupid ok?  I know that I can’t have a crush on some weirdo internet stranger who I’ve never seen.”  She sat there waiting with a quirked eyebrow. Silence reigned between them, heavy and thick, before Lance buckled.  “It makes me smile, ok?  For a while, when I read and write the emails, everything hurts less and I can breathe.  It’s like, for that moment, everything can be alright, like my heart isn’t torn to shreds, like I didn’t ruin the best thing I’ve ever had, like I can finally smile again.” 

He cut off, his voice thick with emotion and anguish.  She reached over and gripped his hand tightly.

“Niño,”

“No, it’s fine.  It’ll pass, I’ll be fine.”  He turned his hand in hers and squeezed back.  “After all, I’ve got you with me, no?” Her face softened as she nodded.

“Yeah, yeah you do.”  She pulled away from him as their food arrived.  She let him change the topic to lighter conversation.  She smiled and laughed for him.  Even if he fell apart, she would be there, that was assured at the least for the boy.  They ate and then made their way back to the hotel room.  They spent some time discussing possible night plans when he opened his phone again.  A sudden hiss pulled her attention from her phone.  His face was stricken and pained.

“Lance,”

“Chole.”  His voice was broken as he reached for her suddenly.  She was at his side in an instant.  She held him close and let him fall apart in her arms. 


	8. Chapter 8

-Keith-

Two days later

Waiting was one of the things that Keith wished he never had to do, and yet it seemed to be the thing he was doing the most of lately.  This time however, he was in his own apartment, on his own couch, while Shiro, Pidge, and Pidge’s brother sat together chatting softly about whatever, and Hunk and Allura bickered in the kitchen over dinner.  He picked up his phone and stared at the blank screen.  He was so focused that when he got poked in the face, he flinched so hard he almost fell from the couch.  Pidge stared at him blankly as he tried to glare at her.

“What,”

“Why on earth did you invite all of us over if you were just gonna sit there, stress, and ignore all of us??”  Her face seemed pinched and eyes glinted with irritation.

“Uh, sorry,”

“You damn well better be. You invited all of us here, to satisfy the weekly hang out, so hang. Out.”  She punctuated the last words with sharp jabs to his chest.  He mumbled his apologies as he righted himself on the couch.  Pidge huffed but sat at his side and turned to her brother.  He looked like an older male version of her, but his eyes shone with a sympathetic light. 

“So, I hope you don’t mind but you seem like you’re waiting for some kind of bomb to go off.”  His voice was soft and gentle, Keith had to stop himself from huffing, it was way too much like Shiro’s nudging voice.  But before he could stop them, Pidge answered.

“You can say that again, he’s waiting for his ex to email him the reasons for why they broke up like almost a year ago.” 

“PIDGE!”  Keith’s voice was strangled with betrayal much in the way he wished he could strange the girl at his side.

“What?  It’s not like it’s a secret.”  She pushed her glasses up as she spoke and Keith groaned and flopped backwards.  Matt’s chuckle pulled his fingers away from his eyes to look back.

“It’s fine.  We’ve all been there, well, most of us, if Pidge ever starts dating, she’ll get there eventually.”  He fondly ruffled his sister’s hair.  “Besides, I think that it’s great that you have the maturity to start it over with your ex.”  At that Pidge lost it. Laughing so hard she nearly fell from the chair.    

“Oh, yeah.  So mature, he had to create a fake email and stalk his ex’s travel blog.”  Matt’s eyes widened as he stared at the boy who was curling in on himself.

“Really?” Keith’s face flared and he murmured something, causing Pidge to lean over.

“What was that, Mullet man?  I couldn’t hear you.”  She crooned.

“I said I hate you and I don’t know why we’re friends.”  He groaned.  Hunk popped his head around the wall.

“Dinner’s just about ready, everyone should gather around the table now.” 

Keith gladly jumped up at the intrusion and escaped the amused grins of the three irritating faces in the living room, for the empty dining room.  He watched as the other settled in with bickering and teasing, the sheer domesticity of it warming him.  Hunk and Allura scuttled about moving the platters of meat, and bowls filled with mouth-watering sides and leaving enticing trails of aroma in their wake.  Dinner passed with little interruption, other than a few scuffles over Hunk’s better than sex cake.  And at the end everyone was leaning back in their chairs satisfied and unwilling to move.  Just as Keith was about to thank them all for a fortieth time, his phone buzzed softly on the table.  Everyone at the table froze and stared with him at the glass screen.

_1 New Email_

Keith stared blankly at it before Pidge hissed at him.

“Don’t just sit there!  Read it!”  He shakily grabbed it, swiped the screen open, and touched the email icon.

_Hey there,_

_I know it’s been a hot minute but, I needed some time to collect my thoughts.  I kinda figured that this would be coming at some point, but I didn’t expect it to be so painful.  You asked about the break up.  I’ll answer you.   Honestly, I don’t know why I am doing it.  My cousin is so pissed that this is happening, but I just feel that maybe, now is a good time to just let it out?  I dunno if that even makes sense.  So, before we even go through this, I need to say before it all, after all is said and done, I KNOW that I am an idiot, and I was totally at fault here, so, I guess here goes._

_I was working at a coffee shop, just finished opening the store when three of the most attractive people I had ever seen walked in.  I stepped into barista mode immediately, and I flirted with them all, but the middle one caught my eye._

Keith put the phone down, his eyes were suddenly blurring. 

“Keith?”  He felt a soft hand on his shoulder.  It sounded like Allura.  “Keith do you want us to leave?”  His head snapped up at that.

“No!”  He grabbed her hand tightly and he croaked out his answer.  He had no desire to be alone.  “No, don’t, don’t leave,”  Her hands moved to pull him into a tight hug which she returned.

“Alright then, do you want me to read it for you?”  He nodded and she picked the phone back up.  She slid the phone unlocked and began to read.  Keith pressed his face into her neck and waited for her to arrive where he had left off.

_He was cute, like right off the bat, he had this bad boy vibe, but then when I started flirting with him, it was like he turned into this stumbling school boy.  And I kinda knew then that I was done for.  I slipped him my number, and I waited for weeks before I got a response.  I called him and begged a dinner out of him.  One date became two, then three, then I began to see him so often it was weird for a day to pass without seeing him.  It was the easiest thing to just step into a relationship with him.  We’d been dating for months before we decided to meet each other’s families.  Him meeting mine was easy enough, my parents loved him, and my abuela told me to marry him.  But meeting his was different._

_I had gotten to meet his brother, who is possibly one of the most amazing people I have ever met.  He introduced me to Allura, who was the daughter of one other business partners.  I guess this is the part where I have to mention that Red, well, Red and his brother are the heirs to a big-time company.  Their dad wants to pass it all down to them.  And honestly, I would kind forget that he was from this whole other world that I had never seen before or even really knew existed, until I met his family.  His family is sort of what I imagine a typical old money family is like.  I got taken to a party, that he bought me a tux for, where he took me around a massive parlor room that was bigger than the house I grew up in.  And as I was introduced, it was real easy to see that they didn’t approve of me.  And then, Red got called away to deal with something, and while I was alone, I got pounced by his aunts and uncles.  Questions about my intentions, my background, what my plans for the future were, my connections, and with each answer, it was easy to see their interest in me falling.  I was floundering until Allura found me, and kept me at her side for the rest of the night.  They managed to keep Red occupied until I told Allura I needed to go home._

Allura stopped reading Keith could feel her shaking. 

“’Lura?” Keith pulled away to glance at her.  Her eyes were hard and icy.

“I realized that Lance had been thrown that night, but I had no idea he had felt this way.”  Her voice was soft and pained.

“Let me read then.”  Shiro reached over and took the phone.  “Maybe we’ll figure out what was going on in his head at the time.”

_I knew that meeting his family was a big deal.  He never said it, but I could just tell.  I didn’t know why, but I just KNEW that it was a big deal.  So, when he asked me how it went, I blew it off.  Because, for him, I could take the stares and the questions.  I could do it.  Or so I thought.  While we were starting to move towards more serious decisions in our relationship, his mom passed away.  Red’s relationship with his parents was a rocky one, one that I don’t think I should even talk much about, but it left him devastated.  He spent more time with his brother and his dad.  I understood.  I got it.  But while he was out one day, I stopped by his apartment to leave him some dinner, so that at the very least he’d have some homemade food, his Dad stopped by as well.  When we had met at the party, he had seemed relatively uninterested in me, so I was not expecting the cold anger he expressed at my being in his son’s apartment.  Before, I had the chance to explain myself, not that I really needed to, he cut me off and offered me money to leave his son’s life.  When I said no, he offered me more money.  When I got angry and refused him again, all he did was ask me what my price was to ‘let go of this foolish fantasy’ I held with his son.  When I told him that I loved his son, I was told I was a distraction for him, and was holding him back from doing what needed to do.  He swept out of the apartment after that.  I was so angry, I left and forgot to even leave the food behind._

This time Shiro took a deep breath.  Keith watched his brother’s face carefully. 

“Shiro?”

“No.  Let’s finish the email before we talk about this.”  His response was cold and emotionless.  I nodded and he continued.

_I didn’t talk with Red or his brother for a few days.  Red actually barged into my apartment and demanded to know what was wrong.  I almost told him, but he seemed too fragile and he seemed to finally be getting some small happiness back, so instead I lied.  I told him that I was stressed, my licensing exams were coming up, and he believed me._

_For a while, it was fine.  We managed to get back to where we had been before, and I even forgot about his dad.  Until he came to visit me and talked about having to go abroad for a week.  I was sad, but it was so that he could negotiate some deals, he was so proud.  He wanted to prove to his father, and the company, that he had value to bring.  So we said our goodbyes and I settled in to wait for him to come back.  That’s when I got another visit.  This time, he came to my apartment.  He swept in like he owned the place, and threw some files on the table.  I looked through them.  There were files on schools all over the world.  And in the last ones, there were pictures of Red having dinner with a young attractive guy.  They were smiling and laughing.  Red’s dad told me that I was in the way.  I was not a worthy match for his son, that there were many more suitable men to satisfy his son.  He offered to send me anywhere I wanted if I broke it off with Red.  We got in an argument and I kicked him out.  I thought things would get better when Red came home.  They didn’t.  He came home busier than ever.  We spent less and less time together.  I struggled to keep up with my coursework preparing for my exams, and whenever I would try to talk with him about spending more time together, it would always devolve into a fight that finished with me accusing him of not wanting to spend time with me before I would stomp out of his apartment.  He would come and find me a couple days later, we would apologize, make up, and promise to do better.  But every time it happened, it always seemed to be a little later that he would come for me.  And then the letters started.  I started getting photos sent to me of Red at various meetings, lunches, and just him at work.  Smiling, energized, powerful, and so much more than what I got to see.  And one day, I just broke._

Shiro stopped reading.  His voice had been shaking with the last few lines, and his grip on the phone had tensed.  Matt reached over and laid a gentle hand on his wrist.  Shiro seemed to slump at the touch.  He kept his hand there a moment before he took the phone.

“If it’s alright with everyone, I will finish it up.  I think that out of everyone here, I have the least amount of emotional attachment.”  He waited and when he received no complaint, he began.

_And one day, I just broke.  We were having dinner at his place and he said that he had to work late the next couple of nights, so we had to cancel some reservations I had made.  I got angry.  We got into a shouting match.   I said some things that I knew were lies, and some that I knew would hurt him more than what I wanted.  And he told me to leave.  So, I did.  And told him that he shouldn’t bother coming to find me later.  I ran to my Aunt’s house and I stayed there for a few days.  Then, I went back to my apartment, I gathered up his things, and I dropped them off at his place with the key he gave me and I changed my locks.  I quit my job and blocked his number.  Then, I just stayed at my aunt’s until she got tired of seeing me there.  On my way back to my apartment, I got picked up by some random dudes, who brought me to see Red’s dad.  It was like a scene out of a movie.  He was seated at this massive desk surrounded by goons, and then he thanked me.  And he asked what I wanted.  I flipped him off and told him to stay out of me and my family’s lives forever.  He laughed at me before I was quietly removed from the building.  And after that, I tried to go on with life as normal, but then not even a month after that, I ran into him at a bar.  It was like the worst regret of my life.  Seeing him smile at someone else.  It hurt so much.  So, I ran away.  Pissed off a lot of people by doing that, but I just, I just couldn’t stay there._

_And now you know.  I am a lying, sneaking, backstabbing piece of trash.  Every day I wish I could go back and just tell him everything, just lay it all bare.  But I didn’t and I made everything worse.  I couldn’t even make him happy when he needed me the most.  So in the end, it really was best that it ended there.  Now he can find someone who can stand at his side like he needs.  And one day, I might be able to forget all of this._


	9. Chapter 9

-Keith-

Silence was deafening and stifling.  And it had been the only thing since Matt stopped reading.  Then there was a loud bang as Shiro slammed his hand on the table, his face murderous.  Allura reacted first.

“Shiro.”

“Don’t.  Don’t say anything, Allura.  We both know that this is more than within the realm of reality for _our_ progenitor.”  He spat the last words with a venom rarely seen in him.  He reached over and snatched Keith’s phone, quickly punching in numbers before bringing the phone over to his ear.  There was a moment of silence before he spoke.  “What did you do?”  His growl was dangerous.  His look only grew more so the longer he listened.

“No, Father.  I am calling you on Keith’s phone to ask you what you did to Lance.  You do remember him don’t you?  The, what did you call him again? Ah yes!  I remember, the unfortunate laspse in judgement.”  His grip tightened on the phone.  “So you deny speaking to him about breaking of his relationship with your son.”  Keith felt the lump in his throat thicken when Shiro’s eyes flashed.

“No, Father, if you can still be counted as such at this point, don’t bother yourself about Keith.  I’ll personally make sure that he’s well taken care of.  Don’t bother asking after him.”  He pulled the phone from his face, jabbed it viciously before snapping the thing in half.  Even Matt sat frozen at the spectacle.  It took a moment before Keith built up the courage to speak.

“Shiro, what did he say?” His eyes mellowed instantly as he gazed at his brother.

“What he said when he was confronted about cheating on mom.”  Keith didn’t let his heart sink, he figured that would be the case.

“What do we do now?”  Pidge spoke this time.  Her face was a mask of calm.  Hunk looked between everybody.

“I guess that depends on Keith, doesn’t it?”  His words were soft, and everyone glanced back him.

“Keith, what would you like to do?”

 

-Lance-

It had been six days, almost a whole week, since he sent the email.  Three days since he realized that he probably lost his new friend.  Three days since the best crying sessions of his life.  And it had only been 13 hours since he had blacked out drinking with Chole.  He groaned against the sweet and syrupy voice of his cousin at his side.

“Oy, primito, muevete!  We have places to go and people to see today!”

“Dejame morir en paz.”  He mumbled into his pillow.

“You’re being a pain, manin.” Lance grunted at her.  He wasn’t looking but he could tell that she was rolling her eyes.  “Well, I will not stay inside today.  I’m leaving.”  Lance groaned again as she slammed the door.  He sighed as silence filled the room.  He started to float into oblivion.  Then there was a sudden knocking at the door.  Lance groaned and tried roll over to ignore it.  The knocking only persisted.  Finally, Lance dragged himself from the bed cursing in several languages before he ripped the door open to scream at the person who dared interrupt his rest.  But the sight before him stopped him cold.  His eyes widened and he stared the man in front of him.  He was worn and exhausted, and had a duffle bag hanging off his shoulder.  Lance quickly pinched himself.

“Holy hell, I need to stop drink-”  Before he could finish, Keith surged forward his face set into a determined frown, and grabbed Lance before pulling him into a kiss.  For a moment, Lance stood frozen as the literal boy of his dreams, insistently pushed his lips against his.  Then it was gone, and his arms circled about him and pulled him tighter, angling his lips to push Keith’s apart.  If this was a hallucination, it was a damn good one.  The moment seemed to stretch on forever before Keith pulled back with a soft smile.  Lance could only stare dumbly at him. 

“Lance.”  Keith voice was breathy.

“Keith.”

“Are you going to invite me in?”  The shorter man laughed softly as he was yanked in suddenly.  But as soon as the door closed, reality came snapping down on him.  Lance flinched away from him.  Keith glanced back at him, his grey eyes seemed piercing, then he dropped his bag on the ground and kicked his shoes off.  He reached back and took Lance’s hand in his.  “I’m tired.”  He said simply.  Lance stared at him as he lead him to the bed and slipped into it. 

He knew he needed to do something other than stare, but it was all he could do.  Keith was here.  Keith kissed him.  Keith was in his bed, staring up at him as though asking whether he was going to follow or not.

“Keith.”  His voice was a whisper as though afraid to break whatever magic or illusion was there.

“Shut up, Lance.  I had a long flight.  Like fifteen hours long.  Now, get over here and snuggle me.  We’ll talk after we’re both not dead on our feet.”  He lifted his hands from the bed to tangle them in with Lances, before he pulled lightly on them.  Lance let himself be pulled toward him, and then slipped his arms around the other, pulling him closer.  He lay there breathing in Keith and listening as his breathing slowed and fell into a steady rhythm.  He couldn’t fall asleep now, he was buzzing with energy and questions.  And he lay there with Keith curled up in his arms for hours, until the door was opened quietly.   Lance waited until he heard the bed beside them groan under someone’s weight before speaking.

“You knew!”  It was a whispered accusation, but it got her to look at him.  She gave him a searching glance.

“I did.  Hunk and Shay called me when they hatched the plan.  At first, I was absolutely against it, but then they explained everything.”  She sent Keith a soft glance. “And I reluctantly agreed.”

“You got me drunk on purpose.”  He pouted and she chuckled softly.

“Indeed.  I did.  But this time I had a small hope that you might actually start smiling afterwards.”  Lance stilled as Keith mumbled softly and shifted in his arms but breathed out a sigh as he stilled.  “Could you perhaps come to forgive me?”  Lance released a long suffering sigh but gave her a smile.

“I guess.”

 

-Keith-

The next few days were a blur, and through it all, Keith struggled to remain at Lance’s side.  There was an awkward talk after Keith woke.  Chole ditched them and didn’t come back until Lance called her to bring food.  They spent hours talking, hugging, and kissing.  And laughing, Lance wouldn’t stop laughing about the anonymous emails.  It took Keith kissing him to shut him up.  Afterwards, they agreed on boundaries and moving forward, albeit slowly.  And Keith refused to be away from Lance’s side for long.  Which is why he couldn’t spend much time admiring the beach in front of him, before his eyes wandered back to the tall lanky man currently paying for ice cream.  Keith couldn’t have pulled his gaze from the tanned man even if he’d wanted to.  His heart thrummed inside of his chest when Lance sent him a stunning smile.  As soon as he was seat beside him, Keith leaned towards him and stole a kiss before claiming his cone.  He leaned into his warmth and they finished their food in silence.  Slowly the sun began to dip behind the horizon, setting off a blaze of wondrous pastels through the sky.  Lance wrapped an arm around his lover and Keith spoke softly.

“I’m sorry that Chole made us come back to Florida.”  Lance sighed and pressed a soft kiss into the man’s hair.

“That should be my line.  After all, it’s your dream to travel around the world, Mr. Waiting.”  Lance murmured gently.  Keith leaned more heavily into his warmth.

“Yeah, well, right now, this is where I want to be.”  Lance chuckled at his honesty.

“Oh yeah?  You like Florida that much, huh?”  Keith pulled away with a pout.  He waited until Lance was looking him in the eye before he spoke.

“No.  It’s you that I like that much.”  Lance’s breath stilled and his eyes seemed to water a bit before he closed the distance and pressed a soft kiss to Keith’s lips.

“How can you possible still say things like that after all that happened?”  He whispered as he pulled away, his eyes glistening with wonder.  “How can you possibly still want to be with me?”

“That might be my question.”  Keith responded as he slid a hand through the man’s soft hair.  “Besides, we agreed to total honesty, even when we don’t want to.  If only to avoid anonymous emails.”  Lance chuckled at that and kissed him again.

“I guess we’re just stubborn idiots then.”  Keith hummed in response and laid on Lance’s shoulder.  He watched the sky change to a more brilliant cacophony of colors.  There was a few moments of silence before Lance spoke again. “So how many days before we have to go back?”  Keith sent him a soft smile before he answered.

“Shiro and Allura should have taken control of the company today or if not, then it’ll be tomorrow.  And Allura has made it clear that I am unavailable for the next four days.  Anyone who tries to contact me will face her terrible wrath.”  Lance chuckled at that and kissed his love again. 

“Four days, huh?  I can’t wait to show you off more.  Besides, Abuela has been dying to have you back, she keeps saying something about you being the only one who respects her like they should.”  Keith laughed and returned his head to Lances shoulder, relaxing for the first time in what felt like forever.

“Lance,” The taller male responded with a soft distracted murmur and smile. “is this everything you hoped it’d be?”  He felt the man stiffen beside him, then he relaxed as he answered.

“No,” Keith tried to burrow into Lance’s side as his arm curled around him possessively.  “no, Keith, this is so much more than I could have imagined.”


End file.
